Argggggggg - Post #212

What type of Fae are you?

Well, that sums it up nicely now doesn't it? Huh. Creepy. "Unstable." That's a good word. Yeah, so, following in the footsteps of Bill and Danica in posting this here quiz thing...and as far as I'm concerned it seems pretty darn accurate. Unstable...hah. Maybe I'll skip school tomorrow, because I really don't feel like going. What a waste of time.

--Iona

The Yo-Yo They Call Growing Up - Post #211

I swear, my mood bounces more than [insert creative analogy here]. Take today, for example. This morning I was insanely happy solely because somebody was in a good mood. That led to me happily writing a note through Spanish and English, acting insanely weird in Social Studies, playing hand games in math, and passing around the oboe during the fire drill in band.

Then we went to a study hall and started doing the piles of math homework, and it was severely depressing. I hate the pressure between hurrying up to get it done before the bell rings and going through and learning it all. That bad mood pretty much lasted all through sixth period, the second firedrill, and seventh period.

Then I got cheered up again at dismissal, because someone let me borrow a really cool collection of stories by this author...goes by the name of Cosgrove? Really good. Keep an eye out for him.

Then I came home and crashed, I was so tired. Boredom = mildly out of it again...ick.

Then I went to swim practice. Oh dear. We warmed up with the usual 150 swim, 150 kick, 150 drill, 150 swim, then boom, we were into it. (For the record, descending means that every 100 yards gets faster until the last 100 yards is all out, as fast as you can.) It was one 500 descending, two 400s descending, two 300s descending, and one 100 all out. I didn't swim all last week, but Kevin still had me lead the lane. I think he knows more about how to make me swim faster than I do. It's all mental; the only thing keeping you from going faster is your will to push past the pain and fatigue. It's crazy.

And then after practice he pulled me aside and did one of his mini speeches that are near the top of the list of reasons why he's such an amazing coach. He told me his goal for me was to move me up a lane for the fall season, so I'd be swimming with a group of girls who currently I have no chance of keeping up with. For that last 100 all out, they were hitting times like 1:08 and 1:10. I got around a 1:23. But the fact that Kevin has this confidence in me makes me feel like there's a chance I can do it. I don't think I'd push myself half as hard as I do if he wasn't my coach. He knows, when you're about to break down, whether he needs to be tough or kind. It's amazing, and he's one of my heroes for being able to do that.

Erg, homework to do and people to talk to, so I'm out. Ciao everybody.

--Iona

Ow, There's a Muscle There? - Post #210

Who's mother emails them telling them they need to write a new blog post? Gah, my parents need to be a little less computer savvy. Go back to your tape decks. You don't need to see our identification.

I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm a little tired.

Okay, so the title...swim practice yesterday. There's no practice on weekends, the pool was closed Monday and Tuesday for a chemical imbalance and Wednesday for that storm (there was thunder, which was yay, but not a huge ground shaking one, which was antiyay), and Thursday I couldn't go because I had my brother's band concert. Eh, totally more fun anyways. Cuz someone fun was there, and then I accidentally stalked him to CC's. Note: the cake chunks in birthday cake ice cream get stuck in your straw if you have it in a milkshake. And the ice cream is blue...but where was I?

Right. So Friday was the first time I'd swam in six days. And according to someone sometime, it only takes four days to get out of shape. AND Friday was the first day of dryland. Dryland is any workout not in the pool, so Kevin and Kristin had us doing pushups, situps, lunges (owwww), and six inches for forty-five minutes before practice. Then there was the normal hour and a half of practice, and Kevin worked us just as hard as usual.

I was so tired I forgot to flip turn and swam straight into a wall.

And then I had a dream last night that Kevin designated my lane the "probation" lane, from which you could get moved up into the safe lanes or dropped down into Kristen's, never to return.

I love Kristin, she's an amazing coach, but I'm addicted to Kevin's workouts. It's a fair enough dream. I'm the slowest person in his three lanes, probably the only one who's not genetically an athlete. I don't want to leave. I want to stay, and I want to get better. It's just hard when everyone else is that one step above you.

99% of the time I'm okay with being last. The only time is hits me is at the start of the season, when I've been in school for ages and am used to being top. There's a certain type of ego you have to have to swim. You have to be humble enough to accept that there's people in front of you, and stuck-up enough to strive to be in their position, to keep you going when it feels like your body's about to give up on you.

Wow, I get really off track. ANYWAYS, when I woke up this morning, every muscle Kevin worked, or even thought about working, was stiff and sore. And I loved it. That's the feeling you miss in the off-season, the pain in your thighs ever time you stand up, the ache of your shoulders when you lift your arms, the total inability to bend down and pick something up without wincing. It feels amazing.

So...the coaches decided to break their "no weekend practices" rule, and we have practice today from 12 to 1...that means I have to leave in about 15 minutes. Eh. It's going to hurt. Gah...totally wearing my pajama pants there. No question.

Okay, swim meets. What are they, when are they, where are they. We swim dual meets, which means two teams get together and swim the typical YMCA events, but nobody wins. The swimmers are competing to get their own best times, and the other people in the pool are just there for motivation and to give the parents and other people who show up something to watch. They're long and boring and (for the swimmers) extremely stressful. This summer season we have four.

June 8th - Away vs. Farmington Valley Tsunamis
June 22nd - Away vs. Northwest Lasers
June 6th - Home vs. Waterbury Barracudas
July 13th - Home vs. Wallingford Dolphins

Then July 27th and 28th are championships in Middletown, where every team goes and we actually race for points. And somebody wins. (Not us. =]) It's a small season, because the main one's in the fall, but I have no doubts it will be just as eventful, painful, and stressful.

Gotta love swim team. =)

--Iona

Call it dumb, call it luck, call it love - Post #209

Or whatever you call it...

Haha, I don't know why I'm blogging this at all except that I'm so happy and need to let it out somehow.

I'm fifteen, and I know I don't know what love is yet...but I can't help but think this is some form of it. Not go-out-and-get-married love, but somewhere between friendship love and love love is a sunny porch where I'm going to sit for as long as I possibly can.

I like sunshine.

Ahhhhhhhhhh. I was worried, and I was worried because I was worried, but people were right. Some things are just easy. Because they feel right. The puzzle, the rock...the metaphors I don't feel like revisiting. Moving on. On and up.

Too happy to think constructively...chills and smiles and sunshine. Sunny sunny sunshine.

Even dreams couldn't be better than this.

--Iona

Notes on Friends (which will probably deviate off somewhere else) - Post #208

My friends are better than yours. Example one, I get this scrawled in chalk on my front steps,

"Iona, come hang out. -Danica"

Doesn't that just say it all?

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I think I've realized that my friends make me happy because they give me hope. Rachel gives me hope for forgiveness and understanding, Danica gives me hope for staying strong and being reckless, Dan gives me hope for remembering the past and communication, and Tom gives me hope that maybe I'm not a total loser after all. And that's not even close to everybody. That's just some junk off the top of my head.

Happiness is a fickle thing, I feel like a yo-yo bouncing between happy and sad, hyper and exhausted. There is no middle ground. Half of me says I'm crazy, half of my says welcome to high school.

There's another part snorting, "Ha, welcome to life."

When I was a kid I used to have this thing for rocks. I would bring home loads from the beach, to the complete dismay of my parents. There were the typical pretty white ones, shiny ones, ones with funny patterns. But there were always several that looked completely dull and ordinary.

Those were the ones I liked the most. They were ones that, when I picked them up, seemed to fit into my hand like a puzzle piece, right into the curve of the palm of my hand.

I think friends are like that. They just...fit. They feel right. Like they should be there.

There's friends and there's friends. My head is exploding right now, trying to figure out how to do this. Like I've been a friend and a sister and a daughter for so long that I know how to be one. I'm like an expert in the role. There's a way to be and a way to act, and it's good. But this is so new...and totally unexpected. No one was surprised but me.

And I like it. It's probably the best rock I've ever found. Like a diamond, in a pile of quartz. And it fits in my hand perfectly. But sometimes I find myself looking down at it with the sinking feeling that someone's going to realize I found it, decide it's too nice for such an accident to happen like me picking it up, and it'll be gone before I even get to look at it properly.

Hmm, almost as bad as the toy store metaphor, no?

I've been cleaning all afternoon, blaring my music, and it's making me feel restless. Four days, 22 hours, 30 minutes until the summer season of swim team starts and I can get rid of all this energy. I can't wait.

Things to look forward to...
Friday ~ Seussical with Tom & whoever else goes, and Andy's going to sign the book he leant me and I lost because I already replaced it for him
Saturday ~ Americares in the morning, then Dan's party, then Burn's night with the church crew which means SCOTTISH DANCING
Sunday ~ sleeping over at the church from Saturday
Monday ~ swim practice starts
Tuesday ~ I feel dead but totally happy, more swim practice
Wednesday ~ practice, then leave early for the walkathon with the Hershey Park kids
Friday ~ PA invitational with the robodorks
Saturday ~ invitational continued

So yeah. It's going to be wicked awesome unless something goes wrong. -crossed fingers- And all that jazz.

Peace, my homeslices.

--Iona